Dear Civilized World,
I want to express my great apology with the comments of our ”elected” leader yesterday during the G8 summit. I would like to inform you that we here in the United States do take pollution very seriously and, at the local and state levels, we are very committed to reducing the amount of pollution that we generate. We were quite offended and surprised by George's remarks at the meeting on Thursday, and we can assure you that he will be dissuaded from such outbursts in the future. The problem is that while George was growing up in the pristine bubble of the Bush dynasty, he never really got to see or experience pollution first-hand, and is currently still confused about what pollution really is. We in the USA apologize again for his insulting jest, and want to express that we find absolutely no humor in being the world's second-biggest polluter (yes, George's account of things are a bit dated, we'll make sure that we assign someone to read such reports for him in the future).
Sincerely,
Coleman Kane (on behalf of the population of the United States of America)